14/11/2022 0 Comments Yoga for Self CompassionCompassion: What does it mean to you?...... To be kind? Thoughtful? Mindful? Caring for others thoughts, feelings, situations or issues they may face? A want or need to help? Here’s what the Oxford Dictionary says: ‘Compassion: a strong feeling of sympathy for people or animals who are suffering and a desire to help them’ I think it’s fair to say on the whole that I’m naturally a very compassionate person. It’s probably the number one reason I’ve been a life-long vegetarian, and since 2015 following a vegan lifestyle after a stark realisation that ‘happy eggs’ sadly weren’t so happy after all. It’s also the main reason I’m a yoga teacher. I’m a living, breathing example of how yoga has truly helped (and still helps) not so much as to completely alleviate suffering, but has provided the beautifully magical tools (not actually magic but science!) to help manage suffering. Seeing, feeling, living, breathing, moving towards a place of calmness, contentment, happiness - knowing this is possible. How wonderfully transformative it has been to move from a place of harshness to that of a little ease and softening - THIS is why I teach yoga: "My desire to help those who are suffering because, while we are all on unique paths and all have our own unique experiences, I have been there. I have felt it. It is tough. But there are indeed ways and means to find softening, ease, lightness.. It may just take a little awareness, practice, patience and kindness" - Hazel Lily Yoga And to my mentors, guides, and many yoga teachers over the years - with heartfelt special thanks to Yogachariya Jnandev and Yogacharini Deepika Saini - I am eternally grateful for the variety of teachings, the learnings, the practices, and for bringing the multi-dimensional healing powers yoga into my life, so I can serve and share with others🙏 So. Let’s take a little look at Self-Compassion… Self-Compassion: If compassion is a ‘strong feeling of sympathy for those who are suffering and a desire to help them’ then surely self compassion is that, but applied to the self… “A strong feeling of sympathy towards myself who is suffering and a desire to help myself” Hmmm, already this one seems a little trickier doesn’t it?! But why is self compassion difficult?? If a friend came to our doorstep crying and in need of course, naturally, we would immediately stop what we were doing to help, offer comfort, support, a cup of tea… So why does it feel so unnatural when we turn those same actions inward?? A cultural thing? Perhaps. Typically here in Britain many of us have been brought up with a ‘stiff upper lip’ and a ‘just get on with it’ kind of attitude. Typically, not so helpful. More often than not, it can be to do with the way our brains are wired. Our brains think if we’re too kind to ourselves we’ll be too self indulgent and lazy. However, research shows that this isn’t true. Actually, the opposite! Dr Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the study of self-compassion, notes that self compassion is strongly linked with a much more positive state of mental health, overall wellbeing, but also linked to connectedness with others - “Some people think self compassion is self-indulgent or selfish. It's not. The more we’re able to keep our hearts open to ourselves, the more we have available to others.” This concept of being kind, compassionate, to all beings - including ourselves - in a peaceful manner to live a life of contentment is certainly not a new idea. Many wise, ancient texts from across history, philosophy, and the globe focus on this concept of compassion, love, kindness and connectedness. In yoga ‘The Yoga Sutras’ introduce this concept within the set of moral and ethical guides and practices ‘The Yamas and Niyamas’, with the first Yama being Ahimsa: Ahimsa: Non-Violence or Non-Harm“Let’s start with the first step of our Yamas which is Ahimsa, meaning non-harm. Non harm doesn’t mean well I managed not to punch someone in the face today I can tick that box. No it’s a little more refined than that! Ammaji Meenakshi Devi Bhavanani used to talk about three aspects of non-harm we need to consider: Non-harm to others (feels obvious) Non-harm to ourselves (oh ok!) Non-harm by not allowing others to harm us (oooh there’s a new perspective)”- 'Spirituality and Non Violence’ - Yogacharini Deepika Giri As we step on and off of our mat - are there ways we can embody this sense of non-harm? To others? To ourselves? Not letting others harm us? Whether that be physically, energetically, mentally.. Protecting our values, time, space.. Setting strong boundaries? The Fear…Diverting slightly (but not really) - Being completely honest - at the time of writing this I’ve been feeling low. Due to a mixture of elements I think; it's getting dark early, it’s cold and wet outside, this time of year generally bringing up old traumas - which of course like to greet me at the most convenient of times (not!) - And although I’ve generally been managing this well, and you could say things are going in the right direction for me business wise, the state of the economic climate we’re living in has really hit me recently. And like many, many other small business owners at this current moment in time - In reality, I’m just not sure how sustainable it is. Whether I’ll be here teaching yoga next year. Or even next month. Whether I can truly survive doing what I’m doing on my own right now... Can I really ‘do enough’?? It’s tough. I can’t imagine giving up what I truly love. But bills have to be paid and mouths have to be fed.. I guess, only time will tell… HOWEVER while I am still here, lucky enough to be sharing yoga with you! I wanted to talk about the f word -- FEAR. We all feel it. We all need it (so y’know, we don’t get run over by a bus) It can feel crappy. It can be debilitating. It can literally stop us in our tracks. So, how apt it was that today, when I woke up to that sense of fuzzy fear hanging in the air - very almost holding me back from getting up and rolling out my mat (we all have those days, and that’s fine) - that I did just about manage to find just enough energy to arrive on my mat, and that the practice, that I selected at random, began with the words - “Pay attention to your inner thought process, your feelings, your emotions. Especially paying attention to where your thoughts are coming from... Fearing our mind, fearing our intentions?… To be connected with our own inner self. Our real self… Our mind can be our best friend and our worst enemy... How do we make our mind our friend?” How to relax your mind?Practice Yoga for Self Compassion TodaySo, my friend - this is a good question - How DO we make our mind our friend? Perhaps this isn’t one I can't answer fully for you. I can certainly give you some helpful yogic pointers and practices to help you meet your mind where you’re at, shine a little light toward inwards, toward awareness, perspective... But perhaps the answer here today is just that: In the questioning, the enquiry, the meditation... Let’s try - ~ Roll out your mat (or towel, blanket, cushion). ~ Breathe. ~ Feel in to your body. ~ Feel in to your breath. ~ Feel in to your thoughts. ~ Be mindful. ~ Be present. ~ Be kind. ~ Can we soften the self critic? ~ Offer our mind comfort? Support? ~ A warming cup of tea? :) In the words of Dr Kristen Neff - “I invite you to try to be more compassionate to ourselves. We all have the ability to do so. We know how to comfort a friend in need… Remember to be a good friend to ourselves.” Notice: How does this feel? Do you feel a shift? In your mind? In your body? In your soul? For me this morning's simple practice - of awareness, of kindness, of less harsh self judgement - certainly shifted many things for me… There is indeed power in Compassion. Compassion for ourselves. Compassion for others 🧡 If you’d like to delve a little deeper into ways to befriend your mind and embody self compassion, please do check out the many excellent free resources here: self-compassion.org
If any of this resonates with you today, or you’d like to learn more about Yoga for Self Compassion, please let me know in the comments below. And please do remember dear friend, wherever you're at today, try your best to: Acknowledge. Listen. Nourish. Be kind. Give yourself a big hug and some support if you need it. You are amazing 🧡 Hazel xx
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